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Why women drive us crazy!

If it's any consolation to you young fellas, all this crap goes away when a woman turns 50. The problem is, can you hold out that long.
rolleyes.gif


Doc

Does it go away or does your automatic shut-off switch just kick in quicker?
 
If it's any consolation to you young fellas, all this crap goes away when a woman turns 50. The problem is, can you hold out that long.
rolleyes.gif


Doc

Works on both sides of the gender coin, really. I think after 50 we all just start figuring life's too damn short a movie to put up with BS or sweat the small stuff.

Think someone around here has that in their sig: "I used to think it was great getting older had made me more patient and tolerant, and then I realized it was just that I didn't give a shit anymore." :laugh:

~Boar
 
What a great thread.

My favorite is when my wife picks a certain (usually terrible) time to pick on how I don't help her around the house.

"But honey, I just vacuumed the entire house, picked up our room, the kid's room, took the garbage out, I've been washing the dishes every night this week. How could I help you any more?!"

Her: "That's all stuff you're supposed to be doing anyway. It doesn't count."

She actually means it.

I wish I could read minds. Or just her mind. Life would be so much simpler.

Bill

ps. It's funny how, through all the crap, she's still my best friend. I can't believe how she can be two extremes. Sometimes all at once.
 
Well, Andy Rooney agrees with me.



Women over 50

Here is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

* A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

* If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

* A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

* Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

* Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

* A woman over 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

* Women over 50 could care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

* Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. They always know.

* A woman over 50 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

* Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

* Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress.

* Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage......!!!



Doc.​

There are some phenomenal quotes on here I think Doc's got the best take on women to this point. Although, what do I know, I am just a young piece of sausage in the eyes of a 50 yr old woman :sign:
 
And, the internet classic . . . :laugh:

$10,000
06' Suzuki GSXR 1000
Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006
2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean what I thought. Call me, Steve. (801)867-8292

~Boar
 
A friend of mine has a younger brother getting married. The sister does not like the woman, not sure if the feeling is mutual. Not a significant other, but she's practicing to drive a man crazy for the rest of his life:

Older brother: You're mad about not being asked to be in the wedding party?

Sister: YES! F*** HER!

OB: But... you don't like her

S: So?

OB: And if she asked, would you have been in the wedding anyway?

S: No!

OB: So, what's the problem?

S: That she didn't ask!

OB: What the hell does that matter if you don't like her and you wouldn't have been in it?

S: You just don't get it, do you?

<At this point, the Older Brother, being married and knowing the path this is heading down, gives up and walks away>
 
On those rare occasions where we push it far enough to "proven" correct, we are never "right" because we crossed a line in getting to this point and thus are very, very, wrong!
 
On those rare occasions where we push it far enough to "proven" correct, we are never "right" because we crossed a line in getting to this point and thus are very, very, wrong!

See, I think this whole thread should be deleted.

All them young bucks out there need to learn these lessons the way I did...
The hard way.

:laugh:
 
On those rare occasions where we push it far enough to "proven" correct, we are never "right" because we crossed a line in getting to this point and thus are very, very, wrong!

See, I think this whole thread should be deleted.

All them young bucks out there need to learn these lessons the way I did...
The hard way.

:laugh:
I started the thread to be a nice guy (someone once insinuated I wasn't!) since I am an old bastard and still haven't figured it out!

But ya know what, even if us "more experienced" guys tell the young bucks everything, they still won't be able to help themselves........just like we couldn't :D
 
On those rare occasions where we push it far enough to "proven" correct, we are never "right" because we crossed a line in getting to this point and thus are very, very, wrong!

See, I think this whole thread should be deleted.

All them young bucks out there need to learn these lessons the way I did...
The hard way.

:laugh:
I started the thread to be a nice guy (someone once insinuated I wasn't!) since I am an old bastard and still haven't figured it out!

But ya know what, even if us "more experienced" guys tell the young bucks everything, they still won't be able to help themselves........just like we couldn't :D

Thats why I am 23 and divorced :whistling: I will never learn
 
I started the thread to be a nice guy (someone once insinuated I wasn't!) since I am an old bastard and still haven't figured it out!

But ya know what, even if us "more experienced" guys tell the young bucks everything, they still won't be able to help themselves........just like we couldn't :D

For the last time - You're a nice guy, DAMN IT!!!! :rolleyes:
 
I started the thread to be a nice guy (someone once insinuated I wasn't!) since I am an old bastard and still haven't figured it out!

But ya know what, even if us "more experienced" guys tell the young bucks everything, they still won't be able to help themselves........just like we couldn't :D

For the last time - You're a nice guy, DAMN IT!!!! :rolleyes:

Oh.....don't try to suck up by swearing at me :p
 
I started the thread to be a nice guy (someone once insinuated I wasn't!) since I am an old bastard and still haven't figured it out!

But ya know what, even if us "more experienced" guys tell the young bucks everything, they still won't be able to help themselves........just like we couldn't :D

For the last time - You're a nice guy, DAMN IT!!!! :rolleyes:

Oh.....don't try to suck up by swearing at me :p


You'd make a good woman Jeff.
 
The Nagging Wife
Farmer Frank had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing.

One day when he was out in the field, Frank's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.

At the wake, Frank's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Frank he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Frank and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"

Well, Frank replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, 'Is that mule for sale!?' :D :laugh:
 
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