Choice A: A FEW of those prospective new members you talk about would take high insult to anyone making a comment about their clothing, and take great pains to tell the person making the comment how pathetic a human being they were - thereby creating a ruckus with everyone else around.
I feel that the "making a comment" part should be constructive and work towards a remedy for the problem.
Others feel that almost any comment is okay and it's only about how the prospective member reacts. I guess a happy combination of both keeps new, good people coming in, overall.
Many actually see it as their "job" to be the first, biggest, and most prolific abuser of a newb who makes a mistake.
I don't know that I would call it "many". "Some", or "a few" perhaps - but not "many".
You're analogy of the dress code at the "club" was spot on with the situation of newbs coming to this community. There are a set of mores for the board (for good reason) - and conformity is expected. It doesn't really matter why it is expected, because the community sets the standards. But it truly is in a new member's best interest to accept the fact the community has, and is, successfully existing because there are standards - and those standards need to be followed.
As painful as it is, (and being member moderated), there will be "a few" that will take on the "job" of ensuring new members live within the community standard. But - "member" moderated not only means slapping around the bad newbs from time to time - it also means the scrutiny of the community for those that have accepted the "job" of doing the slapping.
Not everyone likes the police, ya know...