jfields
Where did all my money go?
So Friday was an interesting day, but this one house I showed up to really took the cake. It wasn't so much the house, but the people living there. I'll do my best to tell the story!
An agent I work with a lot called me in a semi panic because she forgot to order a termite inspection, and they're supposed to close on Monday. Even though I'm busy, I agreed to squeeze it in between my two home inspections that day.
So I drive up to the three bedroom rambler house and go to pull in the driveway and there's a Dodge truck parked in such a way that if I didn't pull in diagonally behind it, the tail end of my truck would've been sticking out in the road. I noticed what appears to be a white female who looks like she's about 43 ish, and an older white gentleman standing next to her outside at the front porch. He looks like he's may be close to 70. First impressions would be just a slight step above white trash. I get out of my truck, and flip up the bed cover so I can get to my equipment. Clearly it's obvious I'm not in the truck anymore (or anyone for that matter), and it's not running. Yet he walks up directly in front of it within 5 feet and starts motioning like he's a plane captain guiding a Boeing 747 on to the tarmac. I'm looking at him a bit perplexed, and I look over the daughter who's still on the front porch who also looks a bit perplexed, as well as mortified and is laughing. She starts yelling "Dad! Dad! What are you doing!!??!!?"
Once he realizes there's nobody in the truck, he's sheepishly walks over to me and tells me he needs to leave.
I asked him if it's OK if I pull on the grass slightly, I can get next to him so he can back out. I don't know whether this guys got Alzheimer's or what's going on at this point. But, I just get in my truck and move it, and he leaves before I can even get out.
So, I walk up to the house, look at the woman, and immediately can see in her eyes that she's baked, and right at that point I could smell the strong odor of cannabis coming from the house, only then realize that's what's been going on. She won't even look at me, and can hardly put two sentences together.
She jumps in her bed, and starts looking at her phone, trying her best not to have to have any interaction with me. Our interaction goes like this as I'm in her bedroom.
Me: I see the lights on in the master bathroom. Is anyone in there before I just walk in?
Her: Huh? What!!
Me: I see the lights on in that bathroom. Is anyone in there before I just walk in?
No: Oh! Just me home. You can go in.
I finish and walk over to a bedroom door down the hall that's closed mindful of what she just said. Open the door......
Me: "Shit! I mean shoot" and quickly pull the door shut after seeing a half dressed 19 ish year old girl lying on the bed with her face buried in her phone. I immediately pull the door shut!
Mom: Giggles and I hear her yell from her room "Oh yeah! I forgot, my daughter is in there."
Me: "I can see that! Startled me." I knock and ask if I can come in. Get an "Uh Huh", I go in and can she's now covered with a sheet, but still in bed on her phone unfazed.
Say hello, and apologize for just walking in.
Then I go to open the closet that's pitch black inside mind you. Then I yell "Holy shit" and quickly slam the door shut. There was a young black man standing in there in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts on his phone. As stereotypical as it sounds, with the slight glow of the phone, all I could see was his teeth and eyes as he smiled at me sheepishly. Why he was in there in the first place I have no idea, but it scared the hell out of me.
I looked at the girl and said "You know there's a black man hiding in your closet!?"
She just giggles as I turned to walk out muttering to myself "What the hell!".
An agent I work with a lot called me in a semi panic because she forgot to order a termite inspection, and they're supposed to close on Monday. Even though I'm busy, I agreed to squeeze it in between my two home inspections that day.
So I drive up to the three bedroom rambler house and go to pull in the driveway and there's a Dodge truck parked in such a way that if I didn't pull in diagonally behind it, the tail end of my truck would've been sticking out in the road. I noticed what appears to be a white female who looks like she's about 43 ish, and an older white gentleman standing next to her outside at the front porch. He looks like he's may be close to 70. First impressions would be just a slight step above white trash. I get out of my truck, and flip up the bed cover so I can get to my equipment. Clearly it's obvious I'm not in the truck anymore (or anyone for that matter), and it's not running. Yet he walks up directly in front of it within 5 feet and starts motioning like he's a plane captain guiding a Boeing 747 on to the tarmac. I'm looking at him a bit perplexed, and I look over the daughter who's still on the front porch who also looks a bit perplexed, as well as mortified and is laughing. She starts yelling "Dad! Dad! What are you doing!!??!!?"
Once he realizes there's nobody in the truck, he's sheepishly walks over to me and tells me he needs to leave.
I asked him if it's OK if I pull on the grass slightly, I can get next to him so he can back out. I don't know whether this guys got Alzheimer's or what's going on at this point. But, I just get in my truck and move it, and he leaves before I can even get out.
So, I walk up to the house, look at the woman, and immediately can see in her eyes that she's baked, and right at that point I could smell the strong odor of cannabis coming from the house, only then realize that's what's been going on. She won't even look at me, and can hardly put two sentences together.
She jumps in her bed, and starts looking at her phone, trying her best not to have to have any interaction with me. Our interaction goes like this as I'm in her bedroom.
Me: I see the lights on in the master bathroom. Is anyone in there before I just walk in?
Her: Huh? What!!
Me: I see the lights on in that bathroom. Is anyone in there before I just walk in?
No: Oh! Just me home. You can go in.
I finish and walk over to a bedroom door down the hall that's closed mindful of what she just said. Open the door......
Me: "Shit! I mean shoot" and quickly pull the door shut after seeing a half dressed 19 ish year old girl lying on the bed with her face buried in her phone. I immediately pull the door shut!
Mom: Giggles and I hear her yell from her room "Oh yeah! I forgot, my daughter is in there."
Me: "I can see that! Startled me." I knock and ask if I can come in. Get an "Uh Huh", I go in and can she's now covered with a sheet, but still in bed on her phone unfazed.
Say hello, and apologize for just walking in.
Then I go to open the closet that's pitch black inside mind you. Then I yell "Holy shit" and quickly slam the door shut. There was a young black man standing in there in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts on his phone. As stereotypical as it sounds, with the slight glow of the phone, all I could see was his teeth and eyes as he smiled at me sheepishly. Why he was in there in the first place I have no idea, but it scared the hell out of me.
I looked at the girl and said "You know there's a black man hiding in your closet!?"
She just giggles as I turned to walk out muttering to myself "What the hell!".
