Adventures In Home Inspection (Some May Be NSFW)

[CigarStone]

So the seller was a complete cow when I showed up to set the radon test two days ago ahead of my clients home inspection. Basically, yelled at me because I told her she couldn't open any windows, and leave them open for the duration of the test period. Her agent indicated she was difficult, but I've never seen this level of pettiness. She literally turned up the cushions on every piece of furniture in the home, then covered them with plastic to prevent anyone from sitting on her furniture during the home inspection today. Then covered every bed in the home so nobody would sit on them. Even carried all the dining/kitchen table chairs out to the garage. Then, I watched her walk to her car with a tub full of toilet paper and paper towels before she left. I just realized she took it all with her in an attempt to prevent anyone from using her toilets.

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I would have written up everything you could possibly write up

 

[Nick Burner]

I would have shit in her toilet and left it in there. did she take the paper towels?

Or the regular towels…

 

[jfields]

I would have shit in her toilet and left it in there. did she take the paper towels?

I've got a bunch of dead 9 V batteries in a tub in the back of my truck. Maybe I'll swap them all out in her smoke detectors before I leave.

 

[Scap]

I've got a bunch of dead 9 V batteries in a tub in the back of my truck. Maybe I'll swap them all out in her smoke detectors before I leave.

I always love it when people call in to talk radio and the smoke detector keeps beeping.

 

[CigarStone]

I always love it when people call in to talk radio and the smoke detector keeps beeping.

You must listen to a lot of talk radio?

 

[CigarStone]

I've got a bunch of dead 9 V batteries in a tub in the back of my truck. Maybe I'll swap them all out in her smoke detectors before I leave.

You should have hooked all those batteries up together, half in series and half in parallel, and made a pressure activated connection to her toilet seat.

 

[Scap]

You must listen to a lot of talk radio?

I used to drive a service truck that only had AM radio.
Haven't listened to OTA radio since I got a vehicle with Bluetooth and a Pandora subscription

 

[{tpc}]

Still best thread ever lol!

 

[2K6TBSS]

Did you put any of the cushions on her furniture down and make it look like you sat down? Or maybe ruffle the sheets on a bed to make it looks like you took a nap?

 

[jfields]

Did you put any of the cushions on her furniture down and make it look like you sat down? Or maybe ruffle the sheets on a bed to make it looks like you took a nap?

I put the toilet seat down in her master bathroom just so she would wonder. I was honestly thinking "Man! I really wish I had some chocolate pudding right now. Would love to leave a few slight traces of that on her toilet seat."

 

[CBoukal]

Place a bag of shit in the vents. Note it on your inspection "House smells like someone shit in a bag and put it in the vents"

 

[CigarStone]

Place a bag of shit in the vents. Note it on your inspection "House smells like someone shit in a bag and put it in the vents"

When I started reading this, I thought nah because the buyer is probably John's client and you don't want to leave him that present. But when I got to the end of your post I couldn't help but laugh out loud

 

[bfreebern]

Can you at least, get a picture of said "cow" so we have some context! F'ing amateur!