@rbbrock I have a solution to that vomit problem! When my son, now the father to grandson #2, was about 6 he got an awful flu—fever, chills, aches, vomiting, the whole nine yards. So, about 1:00 a.m. he pukes, I go in and clean it up and comfort him like any good dad. Then I put his small plastic garbage can next the bed and say, “Next time, grab the bucket and do it in that.”
Then about 2:30 I hear him yorking again. So I go in and he’s just leaned out over the side of the bed and mostly missed the bucket. OK then. “Get your butt up and start cleaning that up!”
“But I don’t feel good.”
“I don’t care how you feel, all you had to do was lean over, grab the bucket, and do it in there! I cleaned it up once, now it’s your turn!” Made him get up, get towels and water, and clean it all up before he went back to bed. Happened a couple more times that night and he miraculously hit the bucket!

Imagine that!
Now SWMBO, of course, is having a hissy fit. “You’re so cruel, can’t you see he’s weak and in pain? How can you make him do this?!” She tried to help a couple of time but I preventer her. He finally gets it done in about 10 minutes and weakly climbs back into bed.
Am I cruel and heartless? Well, no, I felt bad for him. But that’s the function of dads. Teach and reinforce correct behavior that will help the kid later in life. It’s a fundamental difference between moms and dads. Some women are very good at it. But many, not so much. And, sadly, many dads nowadays, not so much. [delete long rant on cultural shifts in gender roles].
I’m sure we’re making Joe feel great about fatherhood!

It’s fun, Joe! Come on in, the water’s fine! There will be swinging in the park, birthdays and cake, them falling asleep in your lap (pack that memory in hard!). But there will also be poop and puke! Good luck!
Don’t hesitate, power through your first couple of diapers, and it will be something of complete indifference to you by about the third time you do it. Don’t worry, you’ll get through it!
