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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

CigarStone said:
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartenders says "we don't serve pieces of string here". The piece of string goes outside ,ties himself in a knot, messes up his hair, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says "hey, aren't you that piece of string", and the string says "I'm a frayed knot"
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How long is a piece of string?
 
Three guys walk into a hotel. They ask for a room and the clerk say it will be $30, so they each give him a $10 bill. A while later the clerk realizes he overcharged them, the room was only $25. As the clerk is headed to the guys room to give them their money, he figures it will be easier if he just gives them $3 and keeps $2 for himself.

So now, the guys each paid $9 for the room which is $27 and the clerk kept $2 adding up to $29.

What happened to the other $1?
 
CigarStone said:
Three guys walk into a hotel. They ask for a room and the clerk say it will be $30, so they each give him a $10 bill. A while later the clerk realizes he overcharged them, the room was only $25. As the clerk is headed to the guys room to give them their money, he figures it will be easier if he just gives them $3 and keeps $2 for himself.

So now, the guys each paid $9 for the room which is $27 and the clerk kept $2 adding up to $29.

What happened to the other $1?
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Nothing. Three guys paid $9 each. Clerk has $27 total.

The math misdirection is trying to add $2 to $27 when it's really $2 plus $25.
 
Scap said:
Nothing. Three guys paid $9 each. Clerk has $27 total.

The math misdirection is trying to add $2 to $27 when it's really $2 plus $25.
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Bingo! It's all in the mis-wording.

My son-in-law fought this all night during a family get-together and after a while I caught him smiling and he winked at me. Now, any time we are all together and someone tells a joke, he says "three guys walked into a hotel" and everyone groans and walks away:)
 
drunkfish3 said:
View attachment 38727
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So, @H. Vachon, around the time you were born, there was this musical group consisting of two guys, and they were really popular on all the charts and MTV (Music Television -- they used to play music videos 24/7). They made millions. Maybe kajillions. And, they had this funky pendulum-like leg move that all the girls would try to emulate at high school dances. Well, get this: turns out that Milli Vanilli (not their real names, of course, but the irony of that will be evident in just a few more words)... were not the ones singing the tracks! The two yutes in Milli Vanilli barely spoke the english language and were simply the pop face of the band; they were lip syncing to music they had no hand in creating! Sure, the label and producers were complicit in all of this, but poor Fab and Rob (neither named Milli nor Vanilli) took the fall publicly. This led to a drug and alcohol problem for Rob Pilatus, who sadly overdosed and died in 1998, shortly before the release of a comeback record that they really did perform on.

#TheMoreYouKnow
 
kann said:
So, @H. Vachon, around the time you were born, there was this musical group consisting of two guys, and they were really popular on all the charts and MTV (Music Television -- they used to play music videos 24/7). They made millions. Maybe kajillions. And, they had this funky pendulum-like leg move that all the girls would try to emulate at high school dances. Well, get this: turns out that Milli Vanilli (not their real names, of course, but the irony of that will be evident in just a few more words)... were not the ones singing the tracks! The two yutes in Milli Vanilli barely spoke the english language and were simply the pop face of the band; they were lip syncing to music they had no hand in creating! Sure, the label and producers were complicit in all of this, but poor Fab and Rob (neither named Milli nor Vanilli) took the fall publicly. This led to a drug and alcohol problem for Rob Pilatus, who sadly overdosed and died in 1998, shortly before the release of a comeback record that they really did perform on.

#TheMoreYouKnow
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Girl you know its. Girl you know it's. Girl you know it's. Girl you know it's. Girl you know it's. Girl you know it's. Girl you know it's.
 
kann said:
So, @H. Vachon, around the time you were born, there was this musical group consisting of two guys, and they were really popular on all the charts and MTV (Music Television -- they used to play music videos 24/7). They made millions. Maybe kajillions. And, they had this funky pendulum-like leg move that all the girls would try to emulate at high school dances. Well, get this: turns out that Milli Vanilli (not their real names, of course, but the irony of that will be evident in just a few more words)... were not the ones singing the tracks! The two yutes in Milli Vanilli barely spoke the english language and were simply the pop face of the band; they were lip syncing to music they had no hand in creating! Sure, the label and producers were complicit in all of this, but poor Fab and Rob (neither named Milli nor Vanilli) took the fall publicly. This led to a drug and alcohol problem for Rob Pilatus, who sadly overdosed and died in 1998, shortly before the release of a comeback record that they really did perform on.

#TheMoreYouKnow
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I hate you 😂
 
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