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Viejo paso de los miembros

A man goes to the doctor, and when in the examanation room the Doctor ask. "What seems to be the reason for your visit?"
The man explains, "Well it seems that my penis has turned orange."
The perplexed doctor thinks about this for a minute and says, "Can you think of anything that you have been doing differently? Change in diet or routine?"
"Nah! Says the guy, same thing everday. I go to work, come home,and sit in bed watching porn and eating Cheetos."
 
Gentlemen, thank you all for your excellent submissions. :thumbs:


Now it is up to our esteemed judge to make his decision.
 
Since there will be two additional awards added, these are the prizes.

Bolivar Gold Medal '04

Phillies Blunt Chocolate Aroma


Best of luck to all! :)
 
Swissy said:
jfields said:
jfields said:
Matt R said:
Swissy said:
like smoked salmon?
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I gave Pete some smoked "sausage" the last time I saw him... so he owes me one...... :sign:
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Not gonna touch that one :blush:
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Ah what the hell! Been responding to too many fires lately Swissy? :laugh:
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Hey - talk to Matt... I'm only offering smoked salmon to the judges... he's the one talking special sausages! :laugh:
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I can offer some of Californias finest Pinot Noir ;)


:cool:
 
Man if I knew we were going for a Phillies Blunt, I would have come up wit something. :blush:

Great contest Devin!
 
Gentlemen, it seems our judge has disappeared. :0


Let me see if I can find him...:D
 
probably full on smoked salmon and drunk on Pinot Noir...


:laugh: :laugh:
 
Hell, he's probably doing something stupid like fighting a fire or saving a pedestrian or something.... LMAO!
 
Matt R said:
Hell, he's probably doing something stupid like fighting a fire or saving a pedestrian or something.... LMAO!
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He's like that...:D


Everyone is just going to have to wait until he returns. :)
 
He's probably picking this guy's jar up off the floor:

Man Wins $25,000 Lottery Two Days in Row

MAPLEWOOD, Minn. - An airline pilot from Maplewood won a $25,000 lottery jackpot - two days in a row. Raymond Snouffer Jr. matched the winning numbers 11-14-23-26-31 to win Saturday's Northstar Cash drawing with odds of about 170,000 to 1, Minnesota Lottery officials said.


On Sunday, Snouffer stuck with 11 and switched to 3-7-19-28 - and won again.

Lottery officials said such a sequence was so farfetched that the odds against it were "virtually incalculable."
 
Yeah, yeah.. I know the contest is over:

A cowboy two steps into a bar, realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says to himself, I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of yourpenis?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.'

That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really Satisfies'." The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.

So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says,

"So, what do you call yours?" The man turns to him and proudly exclaims,

"FORD, because Quality is Job Number One."

Then he adds,"Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims,

"The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's...

STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."
 
A little contest while we wait...:)



Guess my favorite guitar amplifier. Will need the model, not just the brand.

The winner will receive two Cohiba Esplendidos.

One guess per member.
 
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