Wow! That took a long time to say I have no fricking idea!I believe restaurants call that green stuff on your plates "salad." It's what comes out before they serve your food. It's kinda like a test. It means, stay here, real food is coming if you're serious about eating. (Incidentally, "salad" is also what real food eats!)
As to that thing you're holding, from what britishfields told me last time I came over to smoke a few of your cigars, I can only surmise that it's one of your 'nads. Looks about the size she described. I'm surprised she let you play with it -- doesn't she normally have them both locked up somewhere?
Ding! Ding!! We have a winner! PM me your address Jeff and I’ll send you something at some point when I get back home.It's a caper, I think.
ETA: caperberry, to be more specific.