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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

I was getting a checkup at the doctors office and he told me my cholesterol was high. He said, ‘don’t eat anything fatty.’ I was like, ‘I mean I don’t eat a lot of burgers and fries.’ He said, ‘no, fatty, don’t eat anything...’
 
A young girl goes on her first date and the boy takes her to the fair. The boy asks "what would you like to do?" The girl says "I want to get weighed" so the boy takes her to where the guy guesses your weight. A little later, the boys asks again "what would you like to do?" The girl says, with a little more conviction, "I want to get weighed!". So he takes her to get weighed again. At the end of the evening, the boy drops the girl off at her house. The girl's mother asks "how was your date?" the girl said "wousy!"
 
Keep in mind, this joke is from the Vietnam era.

The little kids go back to school at the end of summer and the teacher says "okay, class, we will all tell a story about what happened over summer vacation", Several kids tell cute stories and little Johnny is waving his hand aggressively ..... Finally the teacher calls on Johnny and Johnny says "my brother went to war and got shot in the ass!". The teacher says "rectum Johnny, rectum" Johnny says "rectum shit! killed em!"
 
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A Chinese man goes to get his drivers license and the clerks asks for his name. The Chinese man says "Ole Swensen". The clerks says "how did you get such a name?" The Chinese guys says "at immigration, they ask us our name, the man in front of me say Ole Swensen, when they ask my name I say Sam Ting"
 
Two young women are riding bicycles to the market in their small Alpine village when they are stopped at the main intersection and told by the construction worker that there was a water main break, and they need to detour around it. Roughly two kilometres later they pull to a stop and look around. One young lady turns to the other and says, "I've never come this way before". The other responds, "Me, either. It must be the cobblestones"...
 
kann said:
Two young women are riding bicycles to the market in their small Alpine village when they are stopped at the main intersection and told by the construction worker that there was a water main break, and they need to detour around it. Roughly two kilometres later they pull to a stop and look around. One young lady turns to the other and says, "I've never come this way before". The other responds, "Me, either. It must be the cobblestones"...
Click to expand...
Dang, I don't get it?
 
Not a joke, just an optical delusion. Square A and square B are the same color, believe it or not!

1646857890028.png
 
Watch the magic Aaron @TexasTraveler

First I printed the image:
1646871564902.png


Then I cropped it and printed the cropped picture:
1646871391130.png

Then I placed the cropped image on top of the original image ......viola!
1646871484949.png

Try it yourself!

And don't ever doubt me again!:cool:
 
In case you think I cheated, try it in a photo program which allows you to move things. I did this is MS Paint.

1646872460160.png
 
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