Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[CBoukal]

Where does a terrorist go when they die........

All over the place!

 

[kann]

Hey, that's MY joke!

(pro tip: for a more effective punchline, simply say "everywhere")

 

[kann]

Where do suicide bombers go when they die?

Everywhere.

First page, Chad. First page...

 

[CigarStone]

Did you hear about the explosion at the sperm bank?

The people within a two block radius were all overcome.

 

[CBoukal]

First page, Chad. First page...

LOL SORRY! See how good of a joke you had.

 

[CigarStone]

I have a 15 year old grandson who an awesome kid! He is smart and talented, and he is my buddy. But ...... he spends waaaaaaayyyyyy too much time on the couch playing with his phone.

A couple weeks ago, I told him I was officially naming him the "Sofa King". He ginned without looking up from his phone. I said "you should refer to yourself as "Sofa King" with everything you say. If your mom cooks dinner, say "mom, this is Sofa King good!", or if your dad tells a joke, say "dad, that was Sofa King funny", or when your teacher says something, say "you are Sofa King smart".

He grinned for a minute and then it dawned and him. He yelled at me and we wrestled for a few minutes and then went on a four-wheeler ride. When we came back, I asked if he got my point. He sheepishly said "yeah".

He then went back to the couch and his phone!

 

[CigarStone]

What's wrong with this picture?

 

[TexasTraveler]

What's wrong with this picture?
View attachment 53609

Obviously, the towel rack should have went on the sidewall..

 

[kann]

What's wrong with this picture?
View attachment 53609

I'm totally putting in a faux outlet like that when we get our forever home just to mess with people...

 

[Nate1977]

I'm totally putting in a faux outlet like that when we get our forever home just to mess with people...

I was going to guess its an electricians house and they did it to mess with people. Hoping it isn't hooked up

 

[CigarStone]

I was going to guess its an electricians house and they did it to mess with people. Hoping it isn't hooked up

I'll bet @jfields John has seen things equally foolish?

 

[CBoukal]

Almond outlet and white faceplate…. how stupid are people

 

[jfields]

I'll bet @jfields John has seen things equally foolish?

Tried to find the picture but can’t. House I inspected years ago had water flowing freely out of an outlet receptacle holes.

 

[cohibasurfer]

 

[Eqwhipped]

What's wrong with this picture?
View attachment 53609

Shouldn't that outlet by a GFCI?!

 

[kann]

"Even though Rock declined to press charges against Smith, police were seen in the backstage area after the fracas on Sunday night. Witnesses report the responding officers were said to be examining Rock's face for... Fresh Prints."

 

[Le Primauguet]

I checked the Kelly Blue Book value on my truck today.
It asked if the tank was full or empty.

 

[CigarStone]

I was in New Mexico a few years ago and saw a low rider truck with the C, the V, and the T, painted over on the tailgate. HE ROLE

It looked like this

 

[kann]

I was in New Mexico a few years ago and saw a low rider truck with the C, the V, and the T, painted over on the tailgate. HE ROLE

It looked like this

View attachment 53676

Ok, help the slow kid out...

 

[ChuckJr]

"He Roll(s)"