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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a department store and say "I've lost my wife somewhere in here. Would you talk to me for a little while?"
The woman says "OK, but why?"
The man says "Everytime I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
 
A wino is laying in a gutter and he sees a beautiful woman walking toward him. As she gets closer, a man comes from the other direction and when they approach each other, the man says “tickle you ass with a feather”. The lady says “EXCUSE ME!”, the man points to the sky and says “particularly nasty weather”. The man and lady chat for a moment and walk off arm in arm.

A little later, the wino sees another attractive lady approaching and he looks up and says, in a drunken slur “stick a feather up your ass”, The lady says “EXCUSE ME!”, the wino points up and says, again in a drunken slur, “look at them fuckin clouds”
 
Three men go to a hotel and get a room. The clerk tells them it will be $30 so they each give the clerk $10.

A little later, the clerk realizes that he overcharged them, the room was actually only $25. So the clerk goes to their room and gives them each $1 back and keeps $2 for himself.

Now, each guy has spent $9 which equals $27, and the clerk has $2, where did the other dollar go?
 
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