Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation,
Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..'
The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay.
Mick was next in and when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel Fitter.'
Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick £160 a week.
When Paddy found out he was furious..
He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained..
'Knicker Stitchers are unskilled labour and Diesel Fitters are skilled labour.'
'What skill?' yelled Paddy.
'I sew da elastic on da knickers and thongs, then Mick puts 'em over his head and says:
'Yep, diesel fitter.'
 
A West Virginia man is sitting on his porch with his shotgun in his lap on a Saturday evening.

A car pulls in and a young man approaches the porch and says "my name's Joe, I'm here to see Flo, I'd like to take her to the picture show" .... the father says go ahead. A little later another car pulls in and a young man gets out and approaches the porch and says "my name's Eddie, I'm here to see Betty, I I'd like to take her for spaghetti" .... the father says go ahead. A little later a pickup comes flying in the driveway, skids to a stop in the gravel, gets out and say "yo! My name's Chuck"


BOOM!!!!!
 
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