Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[smellysell]

 

[CigarStone]

A fine woman ages like a fine wine.

My wife aged like milk.

 

[CigarStone]

View attachment 58441

I wonder if he's advertising, or in search of?

Remember when the signs used to say John 3:16?

 

[drunkfish3]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No eye deer

 

[cohibasurfer]

 

[CBoukal]

 

[CigarStone]

View attachment 58597

What is the leading cause of divorce?


Marriage!

 

[kann]

View attachment 58594

That's the rules in my house -- If they expect me to put it down, then I expect them to put it back up. Or deal with pee on the seat.

Choices must be made...

 

[cohibasurfer]

 

[kann]

Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny break into a distillery late one night. Bugs looks around with his flashlight and says to Elmer: "Hey doc, do you think this is whiskey?"

Elmer replied: "Pwobabwy. But, not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."

 

[CBoukal]

 

[bfreebern]

For any of you on FB or Instagram, go follow Logan Lisle. He does dad jokes and they’re great.

 

[CBoukal]

 

[kann]

 

[CigarStone]

This is not a joke but a comical experience.

Today, I went to a store near me that sells CBD tincture to see if I could find relief from the chronic pain. The former flower child lady was very helpful as I explained that I needed relief from pain and it was effecting my concentration and focus to the point I was struggling to play golf.

She said .... and I quote "it really helps my game if I eat a gummy before I start playing, I get all loose and don't really give a shit."

I said I didn't think that was the type of help I needed.

 

[CBoukal]

Yesterday I invited a girl on a date to the gym. 15 minutes past the time we were suppose to meet is when I realized we weren't going to work out.

 

[CigarStone]

Yesterday I invited a girl on a date to the gym. 15 minutes past the time we were suppose to meet is when I realized we weren't going to work out.

Did you realize this because she didn't show up or because she wanted to something other than work out?

 

[thinde]

This is not a joke but a comical experience.

Today, I went to a store near me that sells CBD tincture to see if I could find relief from the chronic pain. The former flower child lady was very helpful as I explained that I needed relief from pain and it was effecting my concentration and focus to the point I was struggling to play golf.

She said .... and I quote "it really helps my game if I eat a gummy before I start playing, I get all loose and don't really give a shit."

I said I didn't think that was the type of help I needed.

Don't knock it until you try it!

 

[CBoukal]

Took one of my cats pills last night
Don't ask meow

Just joined a dating site for Arsonists
They sent me a lot of matches

 

[Mizicke5273]

Took one of my cats pills last night
Don't ask meow

Just joined a dating site for Arsonists
They sent me a lot of matches

Okay Farva. Lay off the cat pills meow.