CigarStone
For once, knowledge is making me poor!
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2007
- Messages
- 11,065
If you're married or just in a committed relationship, you have probably encountered dozens of those little things that make you wish you were a bachelor......here's a few for me:
SCENARIO: We are due at a function
ME: How soon will you be ready?
HER: I just have to finish my hair and get dressed.
ME: Okay, let me try this another way, It's 7:15 now, what time can we leave?
HER: I'm almost done!
RESULT: I smile while thinking to myself "I don't need the f*%king play by play, I just need a f*%king time!"
SCENARIO: The night before we leave, at 8:00 AM, on a trip that requires a long drive, which has been planned for months.
ME: We're leaving at 8 tomorrow right?
HER: Yes
ME: So what time do you want me to get you up?!!!
HER: Whenever.
ME: How long do you need to get ready?!!!!!!!
HER: Oh for Christ sake, just wake me up at 7!
I wake her at 7 and finish last minute packing of the car and wake her again at 7:30
ME: It's 7:30, are you still going to be able to leave at 8?
HER: Yes!
RESULT: At 8:45 we both get in the car, madder than hell, for a nice long drive!
SCENARIO: I am having trouble finding am item which I had strategically placed under a pile of other stuff which was strategically placed.
ME: Have you seen my xxxxx?
HER: It's probably wherever you left it.
ME: That's not what I asked.....have you seen it?
HER: Why would I have seen it?
ME: Please answer my question......have you seen it?
HER: No!
ME: It was in the pile of my xxxxxx, did you do anything with it?
HER: No!.....Leave me alone!
10 minutes later I find the pile of stuff which is no longer on the kitchen table where I neatly left it, but is now part of a very disorganized pile of stuff in the laundry room!
ME: Did you move my pile of neatly organized stuff from the kitchen table and throw it in a f*%king pile in the laundry room?
HER: I told you my sister was coming over last night!
ME: Why the f*%k can't you ever just answer a question?
HER: f*%k you!
RESULT: That was our sex for the month!
Let's hear yours.................................
SCENARIO: We are due at a function
ME: How soon will you be ready?
HER: I just have to finish my hair and get dressed.
ME: Okay, let me try this another way, It's 7:15 now, what time can we leave?
HER: I'm almost done!
RESULT: I smile while thinking to myself "I don't need the f*%king play by play, I just need a f*%king time!"
SCENARIO: The night before we leave, at 8:00 AM, on a trip that requires a long drive, which has been planned for months.
ME: We're leaving at 8 tomorrow right?
HER: Yes
ME: So what time do you want me to get you up?!!!
HER: Whenever.
ME: How long do you need to get ready?!!!!!!!
HER: Oh for Christ sake, just wake me up at 7!
I wake her at 7 and finish last minute packing of the car and wake her again at 7:30
ME: It's 7:30, are you still going to be able to leave at 8?
HER: Yes!
RESULT: At 8:45 we both get in the car, madder than hell, for a nice long drive!
SCENARIO: I am having trouble finding am item which I had strategically placed under a pile of other stuff which was strategically placed.
ME: Have you seen my xxxxx?
HER: It's probably wherever you left it.
ME: That's not what I asked.....have you seen it?
HER: Why would I have seen it?
ME: Please answer my question......have you seen it?
HER: No!
ME: It was in the pile of my xxxxxx, did you do anything with it?
HER: No!.....Leave me alone!
10 minutes later I find the pile of stuff which is no longer on the kitchen table where I neatly left it, but is now part of a very disorganized pile of stuff in the laundry room!
ME: Did you move my pile of neatly organized stuff from the kitchen table and throw it in a f*%king pile in the laundry room?
HER: I told you my sister was coming over last night!
ME: Why the f*%k can't you ever just answer a question?
HER: f*%k you!
RESULT: That was our sex for the month!
Let's hear yours.................................