Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[Scap]

 

[MaytagMan]

terrible name for a cigar…

And an even better name for a new humidification pouch...

 

[CigarStone]

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs?

Consuelo

 

[kann]

Q: What sound does a 747 make when it has a hard landing?

A: BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!

 

[Scap]

 

[CBoukal]

 

[kann]

View attachment 74928

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that it took me a moment longer than it should have to figure this one out...

 

[Scap]

 

[CigarStone]

Not necessarily a joke but funny all the same.

I have a robotic vacuum and it reminds me a lot of my ex-wife.

The instant I pick the thing up it says "unit is not on the floor" ....no shit!

When I turn it over and remove the dust box it says "dust box removed from the unit" ..... no shit!

When I push the start button the remote it says "start cleaning" ..... no shit!

If I would bump my head, me ex would say "be careful" .... No shit!

If I would mis-step or stumble my ex would say "watch where you're going" ..... No shit!

If I would take a bite of hot food and react to it, she would say "careful, that's hot" .... No shit!

 

[dawgie]

 

[CigarStone]

View attachment 74990

You know the difference between a wild penis and a teen penis?

 

[Scap]

You know the difference between a wild penis and a teen penis?

You prefer them hairless.

 

[CigarStone]

You prefer them hairless.

Oops, That was supposed to be tame penis.

 

[CigarStone]

View attachment 74990

You know the difference between a wild penis and a teen penis?

Let me try this again.

I'm curious how you know this was a wild penis? Can you show us the tracks of a tame penis?

 

[kann]

Let me try this again.

I'm curious how you know this was a wild penis? Can you show us the tracks of a tame penis?

You can see the wife's footprints alongside the tame penis.

 

[CigarStone]

You can see the wife's footprints alongside the tame penis.

And an occasional drag mark from the leash?

 

[CBoukal]

 

[Scap]

Keeping up with the penis theme around here....

 

[CigarStone]

This is just my own humor, so if you don't think it's funny, I'm sorry.

What did one frog say to the other?

Time's fun when you're having flies.

 

[Darin]

Perhaps you'll like mine then!

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.